God’s Intolerable Humor

Weird FishWe all like to laugh at creatures like the armadillo, the duck-billed platypus and those deep-water fish that look like they’re perishing from some horrible disease even when they’re perfectly healthy. But funny-looking animals are just one example of God’s sense of humor. Did you ever wonder if unattractive people could be lumped in with porcupines and warthogs? That is, could God be secretly chuckling in the celestial realm when he knits people together with massive unibrows and ears like satellite dishes? And why not? Isn’t he entitled to do as he wishes with his own creation? Absolutely. Even if they have trouble getting dates.

HinnThen there is the noticeable tendency for even attractive people to take on features that aren’t part of the prototype but which emerge with age, such as the migration of hair from the top of the head to the nose and ears, strange growths in prominent places and other bodily changes that keep our cosmetic surgeons busy and boost Rogaine stock dividends. As to the last, although I’m losing my hair, I can’t bring myself to spend $39.95 for a 90-day supply of Grecian Formula and then make a fool out of myself smearing it on my expanding forehead every night in front of the bathroom mirror. It can only be a pipe dream, and it will be too painful when it doesn’t produce results — especially if I’ve kept the receipts. When I began losing my hair, I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to do any extreme comb-overs. And a wig? No. There’s no way I’m going to go around wearing a dead badger on my head. It is what it is. What you see is what you get.

baldGod is sovereign over all of it. He made the call that men who go bald would retain that silly strip of hair that wraps around the back of the scalp which (in my opinion) serves only to highlight the fact that the rest of the hair is gone. I wonder if God enjoys a little laugh when he sees men in front of their mirrors carefully positioning their diminishing locks over their foreheads, the wispy strands looking more like brittle snakes than hair. Perhaps he allows this sort of thing to help people avoid taking themselves too seriously.

Some might say: was baldness really necessary? But even in this unfortunate fact of life, God displayed his mercy. Just think how difficult it would be for a bald guy if, instead of going away gradually, his hair fell out all at once — especially if it happened just as he was sitting down for a dinner date with a pretty woman.

No matter how painful the aging process gets, I can’t help but see the disintegration of our bodies as a blessing. Just think how bloated the human ego would be if we looked like 20-year-olds right up until our funerals. Regardless of what we lose in our passage through life, we ought to be grateful for the blessings we still enjoy. The best things in life don’t disappear with old age. 

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About Douglas Abbott

I am a freelance writer by trade, philosopher and comedian by accident of birth. I am an assiduous observer of humanity and endlessly fascinated with people, the common elements that make us human, what motivates people and the fingerprint of God in all of us. I enjoy exploring the universe in my search for meaning, beauty and friendship. My writing is an extension of all these things and something I did for fun long before I ever got paid. My hope is that the reader will find in this portfolio a pleasing and inspiring literary hodgepodge. Good reading!
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One Response to God’s Intolerable Humor

  1. Susan Abbott says:

    I think the reason for our physical flaws is obvious. If we didn’t have various imperfections as constant reminders of how small we really are, our egos, already out of control, might be beyond redemption. With our tendency toward arrogance, imagine being able to look in a mirror and see only perfect beauty.

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